Self-Esteem Therapy in Port Coquitlam

A Clinical Definition of Self-Esteem & Confidence

Self-esteem is how you perceive your worth, while confidence is your belief in your abilities. Low self-esteem often stems from negative self-talk, past experiences, or societal pressures. It can hold you back from reaching your full potential in both personal and professional life.

Read More: How Shame Affects the Body

Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem & Confidence

  • Emotional: Feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, or shame.

  • Behavioural: Avoiding challenges, people-pleasing, or procrastinating.

  • Cognitive: Negative self-talk or comparing yourself to others.

How Low Self-Esteem Can Show Up in Your Life

Low self-esteem can quietly hold you back, showing up as:

  • Staying in a job or relationship that doesn’t fulfill you because you don’t believe you deserve better.

  • Avoiding opportunities for growth because you’re afraid of failure.

  • Constantly seeking validation from others instead of trusting yourself.

  • Feeling like you’re not “enough,” no matter what you achieve.

What Low Self-Esteem Actually Feels Like

Emotionally:

  • Constant comparison – scrolling social media (even local Tri-Cities community groups) and feeling like everyone else has it “figured out.”

  • Over-apologizing for existing – “Sorry for talking too much” – even when you’ve done nothing wrong.

  • Fear of rejection holding you back from applying for that job, joining a Port Moody running club, or asking for what you need.

Physically:

  • Slouching to avoid attention, avoiding eye contact at Coquitlam Centre, or feeling like your body “takes up too much space.”

  • Exhaustion from overthinking every conversation – “Did I sound stupid?”

  • Clenching your jaw or shoulders, bracing for criticism that never comes.

Behaviorally:

  • Saying “yes” to things you hate (toxic friendships, extra workloads) to avoid conflict.

  • Downplaying achievements – “Oh, it was nothing” – when someone compliments you.

  • Sabotaging opportunities because “I’ll probably fail anyway.”

    Imagine…

    • Walking into a room at work or an event, knowing your worth isn’t up for debate.

    • Trusting your decisions without second-guessing every choice.

    • Speaking your mind without rehearsing sentences in the car first.

    • Looking in the mirror and thinking, “Yeah, I’m okay,” – and meaning it.

Read More: Navigating the Journey from Shame to Self-Worth

Are You Ready to Move Past These Symptoms?

You deserve to feel confident and empowered in your skin. At Serenity Counselling, we help you challenge negative beliefs, build self-compassion, and step into your full potential.

Ready to take the first step?—Book a free consultation.

Smiling woman sitting on outdoor steps, wearing a leopard print dress and white long-sleeve top.

How Somatic Therapy & EMDR Help You Rebuild from the Inside Out

Release Stored Shame (Somatic Therapy)
Low self-esteem isn’t just “in your head.” Your body remembers every time you stifled your voice or shrank to avoid attention. Somatic therapy helps you:

  • Notice where shame “lives” physically – tight shoulders, a sunken chest, nausea.

  • Use breathwork, grounding, or gentle movement to release tension and reclaim a sense of safety in your body.

  • Shift from “I’m broken” to “I’m here, and I’m safe” by reconnecting with your body’s wisdom.

Rewire Your Nervous System
When self-criticism feels automatic (“Of course I messed up”), it’s often a trauma response stuck in your body. Somatic practices help you:

  • Pause and feel the urge to people-please or over-apologize – then choose a new response.

  • Build “body confidence” by standing taller, making eye contact at Port Coquitlam’s Farmers Market, or speaking in a steadier voice.

  • Create new neural pathways that associate self-trust with calm, not fear.

Set Boundaries Anchored in Your Body
Saying “no” often triggers guilt or panic. Somatic therapy teaches you to:

  • Recognize physical signs of boundary violations (racing heart, stomach knots).

  • Use grounding techniques to stay present when asserting needs, like feeling your feet on the floor during a tough conversation.

  • Practice empowered postures that signal self-respect to others (and your nervous system).

Celebrate Wins with Full-Body Pride
Instead of brushing off victories, somatic exercises help you embody pride:

  • After speaking up at work, place a hand on your heart and take three deep breaths to savour the moment.

  • After wearing an outfit that feels authentic to you at the Port Coquitlam café, notice how confidence feels in your muscles, posture, and breath.

Read More: How EMDR Can Quiet the “I have to be perfect“ Voice